(no subject)

[thought_bubbls]

I love my baby more than life but ever since I had him, I feel trapped like a rat. Which makes me feel guilty.

Comments

[alisha-stiletto.livejournal.com]

Maybe because your life is completely different now? Maybe because you have to be Mom all the time and your old "you" identity is lost somewhere?

Are you able to do things alone, for just yourself? You need to carve out YOU time.

[thought-bubbls.livejournal.com]

That's why I feel so trapped. There is no "me" anymore. I used to ride horses but because of finances now, we can't afford it. It was my passion. I used to own a horse but I don't think I'll ever be able to afford that again. I just get so sad because my husbands life didn't seem to change much at all. He can still play video games and go bowling with his dad but I feel like I've lost everything about me. I don't know who I am anymore besides Max's mom...

[alisha-stiletto.livejournal.com]

First, I hear you. I know what you mean.

Second, there needs to be some adjusting done on your part. Here's my thinking:

A. I have an ex who is a MAJOR horse person. Owned them, trained them, bred them. I understand the obsession. Finances changed and my ex could no longer afford that lifestyle so adjustments were made: is there any kind of rescue service that caters to horses near you that you might volunteer at? Are there local stables that might want an extra pair of hands around like once a week? This way, you get your horsey fix and you get time to yourself. Your hubby and baby will HAVE to adjust and they will be fine!

B. make your husband do more to help you. If he is getting time to play video games (who the hell has time for that?!) and to go out bowling, you deserve time too. The baby responsibility has to be shared 100%

C. I'm saying this because I'm in the same boat, feeling a little fried, finances have changed with a baby and with a new house...find things to do for yourself. Know what I do? If I can't afford to go out, I will set up a Skype "date" with one of my out of state girlfriends. Pour myself a little wine and go chat! I take my Nook nd go in the bathroom and lay in a hot tub, give myself pedicures..etc. I will get in the car, drive to he beach and walk on the boardwalk. Point being, you have to do something to avoid losing yourself to he "Mommy" identity. It's a wonderful job, but we are more than that, aren't we?